Unimaginable Thoughts
by kjaliasaddict
Summary: Insight can be painful.
1. Chapter 1

'Darkness. Â It envelops every thought I have. Â There is no hope left in me to cry out. Â It has died. Â I have died. Â There is no point to this existence anymore. Â He said it would take a long time, it would take years, maybe even longer... he didn't lie. Â He is the only one who didn't. Â Why is that? Â Have I never been loved before? Â No, Danny loved me, but Danny died. Â I didn't quite die with him, but I wanted to. Â But Vaughn brought me out of it. Â   
  
Â  Â  He is the one who gave me the hope of one day defeating SD-6, of avenging Danny's murder. Â Is that why I am still in this? Â This experience has taught me patience, but I have run out of that. I have been running for so long, for so many years, I need to stop. Â But if I stop, I die. Â Funny, I never agreed to give up my life for SD-6, but that's what a double-agent does, unwittingly. Â That's why Vaughn warned me against telling Dixon the truth - that's not a decision that I can make for him, his family. Â It is a life altering choice that I chose without understanding what the hell I was getting myself into.  
  
Â  Â  Â I constantly lie to my friends, my father and I usually have exactly 60 seconds to speak candidly to each other, my sex life is non-existent, and any significant other that I would have liked to have in my life, well for the sake of their life, I choose not to pursue that road right now. Â Besides, the only man that I would like to have in my bed every morning is totally out of the question. Â At least for now.  
  
Â  Â  Â Now, all I can have is short snippets of moments in that dark warehouse, or that chance to work with him on the rare occasions that he accompanies me on a mission. Â I really wish he and I could work together more often, if he were a double agent too, I could see a lot more of him. Â   
  
Â  Â  Screw protocol, if he were a double, I would go to that hockey game with him and sit bedside him and enjoy it damnit. Â I would go to the movies with him, dinner, whatever. Â I have come to realize that there is a reason that every time I go to the warehouse, no matter what kind of day I have had, no matter where I just got back from, no matter where I am about to go, he makes me feel better; whole. Â Even if we get into a fight, its comforting knowing that I can call him at two in the morning and talk to him 'off the record'. Â I can still see his lips forming those words, hear his gentle voice silently reminding me that he has broken and will break protocol for me.  
  
Â  Â  Â I know he loves me. Â I know that it rips him apart when I go on a mission and he has to wait for confirmation that I have returned safely. Â I know that he hates to schedule public meeting where I can't look into his deep, emerald eyes and he can't look at me when he thinks I don't notice. Â My heart tells me to run into his arms every time I see him, but my head says it would be the last time. Â I stopped listening to my heart after it told me it would be fun to become a spy. Â I gave it another chance when I told Danny the truth, it failed me again. Â Noah, well, he proved that the third time is a charm; when will I stop listening to my heart?' Â   
  
Â  Â  Sydney stepped out of the now lukewarm bath water and slipped her terry robe on. Â She had a meeting with Vaughn in 30 minutes.  
  
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	2. Chapter 2

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'I have been standing under this water for a quarter of an hour, like it is going to wash everything away. Like the water's heat can melt away my feelings and problems. Funny, usually my feelings are the problem.  
  
I shouldn't complain - I could have a partially normal life - I could hold an entire conversation with a friend and not be forced to lie once, I can walk down the street and if I see a woman I want to talk to, I can without worrying their life might be endangered by me doing so. The problem is, the only woman I want is the one that would get me killed.  
  
Love is not an emotion that can be controlled, but I am supposed to be able to do just that. I am required to have a strictly professional relationship with the most amazing woman I have ever known. She is the combination of beauty, brains, and brawn that I have always dreamed of. And since I met her, she is all I've dreamed of.   
  
Every time she walks into that warehouse, my heart leaps knowing I'm about to see her. She's good at hiding her emotions, but I can see past her masks. I know when she's hurt, when she's tired, when she's hiding something. I know because I love her. I don't want to love her because I know I can't have her. Not yet at least. One day, maybe I can hold her and love her; if she'll have me. Just seeing glimpses of her at our public meetings gives me chills, but I always want to see more of her.  
  
Her soulful brown eyes burn straight into my soul each time I see her. Her hair falls around her face in auburn waves, perfectly framing all her gorgeous features. Her body, well, she could probably kick my ass without breaking a sweat. Geez, I should stop this before I need to turn the water to cold…'  
  
Vaughn stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel, discovering there wasn't one there. Grumbling he remembered all his towels are still in the dryer, and went to retrieve one. As he walked back into the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist, he wiped off the foggy mirror and stared at his reflection. Deep green eyes stared back at him, warning him not to let Sydney get into his soul. It was too late; he could already see her looking back at him.  
  
He sighed heavily and turned towards his bedroom to get dressed for his meeting with Sydney in an hour.   
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	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This is what happens when you are not busy at work! LOL! Hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think!  
  
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'I'm going to be late - again. Why can I never be on time for the one meeting I look forward to? I'm rarely late getting to SD-6, the one place that I absolutely loathe. I love meeting with Vaughn in that warehouse. It seems so secluded, like it is the only place that we have together that is safe. We can look each other in the eyes and say whatever we feel. I can tell him anything, and he'll listen with rapt attention. I really don't like it when we have to meet in public places. I don't like having to divert my eyes from his and speak in hushed tones. I love to look at his face as he talks, watch his lips form words that his sweet voice carries to my ears.  
  
These meetings mean so much to me. He gives he a chance to rant and rave about what is really bugging me. I can tell him how I hate Sloane for risking my life every time he sends me on a mission. I can tell him what went wrong on my missions, what really happened. He is the only one that I can completely confide in, and he cares. He doesn't just listen to be polite, he really cares. When I return from a mission, I contact him as soon as humanly possible; I know he worries a lot about me - too much in fact. I long ago realized that he would do nearly anything for me, whether he was breaking protocol or not. Surprisingly, I found this to be a really sexy aspect of him. My heart nearly broke when he told me it was my life that was important, not the mission. Not bringing down SD-6. Me. He wanted me to be ok.  
  
I have been so blind to him. When I was beginning to have feelings that the CIA would consider far beyond inappropriate, I knew I needed to do something to stop myself. I had to put distance between us again before I got us killed. Not long after I decided that, Noah came back. I really wanted to kick his ass when I saw him; he had just left me with no good bye or anything. I was mortified when he had to save me; I never screw up like that, only when he's around. I should have had some instinct about him - nearly dying twice while he was with me; it was a sign. That bastard, he knew I would fall for him again, he fooled me again.  
  
I'm such a fool. It must be some kind of self-destructive mechanism that I have. I felt so guilty facing Vaughn after that night with Noah. I felt as if I had cheated on him. That seems stupid; can't cheat on someone you can't have, right? Wrong. I thought maybe Noah had changed for a while. I don't think that I really feel bad for killing Noah. I didn't kill him in cold blood, he was attacking me, and I wasn't wearing a mask. When that psychotic bastard died, I felt as if I had righted a wrong between Vaughn and I. Maybe I'm the psycho. Maybe I just love Vaughn. Hell, there's no maybe about it.'  
  
Sydney stopped in front of the warehouse and killed her engine. She looked over to the warehouse and sighed. She stepped out of her vehicle and walked quickly to the door. She opened the door quietly and stepped into the dark building.  
  
'I can't keep hiding my feelings from Vaughn like this. I need to let him know so...so what, so I'll feel better? Telling him will only hurt him. I shouldn't tell him. What if he doesn't know that I... how could he? I don't exactly let on that I am madly in love with him. Well, I did throw a big fit when he got reassigned, but Lambert was really pissing me off. Besides, he wasn't Vaughn. No one would ever be Vaughn. Which is exactly why I need to tell...'  
  
"Hey," Vaughn said as I approached him, his green eyes burning into my soul.  
  
"Um, hey. Look, Vaughn, I need to talk to you. I need to talk to yo..."  
  
"Look, I have wonderful news," Vaughn said, cutting me off in mid-sentence. "This could be it. I mean, the end. Sydney," Vaughn said looking up at me, his forehead wrinkled in contemplation. "Sydney, this could be your last mission."  
  
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	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I am celebrating my mom's birthday tonight, so I decided to take time out this morning and write chapter 4. I love ya'll too. :-) By the way, expect the unexpected.(Ambrose.;-) )  
  
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'A suit. I get so tired of suits I could scream. Well, at least I don't have to pour my body into latex to work like Sydney does sometimes. Humph, she looks much better in it than I would anyways.'  
  
Vaughn's secure cell phone rang from his bedside table; he kept it there in case Sydney needed to call him.  
  
'Crap, that had better not be Syd telling me she's going to be late. I really wanted to meet with her before the Dodgers and Mets game this afternoon. I wish she could go with me but.'  
  
"Vaughn."  
  
"Hey man, it's Eric. Look don't talk, I have some really important shit to tell you. Are you sitting down, 'cause you need to sit down."  
  
"What is it Eric?" Vaughn sighed. Usually anything Eric deemed 'important' involved lunch or who he had sex with last night.  
  
"You are accompanying Agent Bristow on her next mission. We're doing this today - as in now - because if we wait, the Alliance could find out about this intel and the window would be shut. All the mission specs will be given to you on the plane. The tickets are reserved under your aliases at the Delta counter at LAX. An agent will be sitting in the seat your right, just take his bag when you get off the plane and he'll take yours. Turn on the com devices in the bag ASAP and go to the Hertz rental counter to get your vehicle. Any questions?"  
  
"Eric, why is this so urgent? Why can't I come to the office and get all the."  
  
"Mike. This could be it. You two pull this off and Haladki won't be able to say anything to you ever again about having inappropriate feelings for Bristow. This will finish the entire Alliance Mike."  
  
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'I hung up the phone and threw on jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of sneakers that just slip on. I couldn't get ready fast enough. I can't believe this is finally happening. This could be the last secret meeting we have to have, the last flight where we sit rows apart.. This is too much to hope for. I mean, what if the CIA is overestimating this intel. What if we don't get it? Shit, that's not an option.'  
  
Vaughn grabbed his keys, cell phone, and wallet and ran out the door. He quickly burst back in and threw his wallet on the hall table.  
  
'Don't need to bring that. Need to bring aliases. Whew, just calm down Mike. I am so glad the CIA had me keep copies of Syd's alias passports and documents. I have to in case she has to jet off at the last minute and doesn't know to bring it her self. Situations like this.'  
  
Vaughn slammed the safe shut and ran back out the door. He couldn't afford to be late to this meeting.  
  
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'She's late. Of course she's late. Only when I have something important to tell her is she late. God, I can't even get mad at her. I won't be able to reprimand her when she gets here. All I've been able to think about for the past hour is that this could be it; I can tell her everything I've always wanted to tell her after this. After this. Hell, on the way over here, I was thinking of telling her now, letting her know for sure how much I love and care for her. Then I decided I would get us both killed if I couldn't concentrate on this mission. I can usually shove my personal thoughts of her aside, make my feelings subside. Not today. We're too close. I can almost feel her in my arms. But I can't tell her. I can't do that yet.'  
  
The warehouse door clicked open and sunlight poured into the dim warehouse. He saw her step in and leaned against a nearby crate.  
  
'OK, you can do this. You can tell her about this without turning into a blubbering fool. Just breathe and...oh God she looks good. She must have just taken a shower, her hair is still wet. Shut up. Suck it up and tell her the wonderful, fabulous, awesome news. Geez.'  
  
"Hey," I said, hearing all my emotions for her escape through my voice. She doesn't seem to notice.  
  
"Um, hey. Look, Vaughn, I need to talk to you. I need to talk to yo..."  
  
"Look, I have wonderful news," I had to cut her off before I lost all my will power to resist her for just a day longer. "This could be it. I mean, the end. Sydney," I had to pause, not believing I was finally saying this. "Sydney, this could be your last mission."  
  
'Her mouth just dropped open. She doesn't know what to say. Oh, God. I have to get her to the airport now. I have to get this mission underway before I lose control.' ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I have a pounding headache right now - literally - but I am going to try and write this anyways, for ya'll. After all, it's why I'm writing in the first place, right? I would laugh right now, but my head would make me regret it. Hehe..ow. :( Anywho, here goes.  
  
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'I can't say anything. Why can't I say something? Anything! Too much to process: no more lying, hiding, sneaking, denial, bruises, cuts, scrapes, broken bones.no more broken heart. Oh my God, if we pull this off, that's it. I will be free to be with him, we can be together. Wait. IF we pull this off. Shit. There goes my wonderful "I love you and can't wait to be with you" plan. If I told him that, I don't think we could get to the airport on time, much less complete the mission. OK, well, this is better anyhow, I mean, after this is done, no one can object to us being together. Right? I am I missing som.'  
  
"Sydney? Did you hear me? Are you alright?" Vaughn was staring at her, trying to get her to say something.  
  
"Um, I, wow," Sydney replied in a very low tone.  
  
'I've got to suck it up until we have confirmation that SD-6 is no more.I've got to or this mission will fail; I can feel it.'  
  
"When do we leave?" I asked with a huge grin on my face.  
  
"Five minutes ago, c'mon we have to go. Here's your spare passport and ID. The tickets are on Delta. When we get to, you know, I don't know where we're going. Anyhow, when we get there, I have to pick up our rental car, so just meet me at the front of the Delta terminal, ok?"  
  
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'I am such an idiot. I tried to get in his car. Why the hell would I do that? Because he's in there. Of course we have to go in separate vehicles; wouldn't really be a point to this mission if we were killed by SD-6 on the way to the airport, now would there? I have got to focus. First this mission, then Vaughn. Maybe I should start calling him Michael - after the mission. I have got to stop this. I am going to get us both killed on this mission.'  
  
Sydney pulled into the airport parking garage and carefully parked her Land Rover.  
  
'OK, I am Amy Tippin now. Amy Tippin is not attracted to Vaughn. In fact, she can barely stand working with him. Just get through this and you'll never have to be Amy Tippin again.'  
  
Sydney shook her head and laughed to herself as she entered the terminal and saw Vaughn at the ticket counter.  
  
'There is no way in hell that I am going to convince myself that I am not attracted to that man.'  
  
Sydney approached the ticket counter, gave the attendant her ID and passport, and received a round-trip ticket to London.  
  
'Of all the places in the world I've been to, I have to go to jolly ole England to take these bastards down. Ha.'  
  
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On the plane, Sydney was sitting two rows in front of Vaughn.  
  
'I need to sleep or something. This is going to be the longest flight I've have ever been on, I can feel it. I wonder if he's looking at me. I can feel someone watching me. I hope it's him because if it isn't, we've been followed. '  
  
Sydney casually glanced around, as if looking for the flight attendant. She caught Vaughn's eye and he smiled slightly at her.  
  
'He was looking at me. He's having a hard time with this too.'  
  
She smirked in return and then the flight attendant was in her face.  
  
"Can I get you something Miss?" the flight attendant cooed with a huge grin tattooed on her face.  
  
'This woman is entirely too happy. I have never been this happy - ever. Well, maybe if I was with Michael.Shit. I can't call him that, not yet.'  
  
"I was just wondering if I could get a blanket and a pillow." Sydney replied.  
  
"Of course! This is going to be a long flight!" the flight attendant reached up into the overhead compartment and produced a dark blue blanket and a miniature pillow.  
  
'Hell, if I can't have him, I can dream about him.'  
  
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	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I am SO tired! Work was busy!!! Here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy because you guys deserve a good fic!  
  
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'She has such beautiful lips. Her mouth is perfectly shaped. God, I would give anything I owned to kiss her.OK, stop. First, we get this mission over with, then I'll find out if I could ever have a future with her.'  
  
"Sydney? Did you hear me? Are you alright?"  
  
'I had to say something to her. I was about to do something that I would have regretted. I wonder if she heard the shaking in my voice.'  
  
"Um, I, wow," she replied, in a deeper tone than normal.  
  
'That voice, oh man than voice gives me chills all over; it excites me. OK, just get down to business and you'll be ok.'  
  
"When do we leave?" she asked, suddenly happy.  
  
'Her smile is so gorgeous. It shows her inner-self that she is constantly forced to keep hidden. One day, I will make sure she never has to hide it again, I swear I will.'  
  
"Five minutes ago, c'mon we have to go. Here's your spare passport and ID. The tickets are on Delta. When we get to, you know, I don't know where we're going. Anyhow, when we get there, I have to pick up our rental car, so just meet me at the front of the Delta terminal, ok?"  
  
'My heart is pounding so hard, I think she could hear it if she tried. I always get nervous when I have to accompany her on missions, but this is different. This could be - will be - the last one.'  
  
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'She can be just as absent minded as me sometimes! She was so embarrassed when she tried to get into my car! I know she just wasn't thinking, but it makes me wonder. Could there be something that she feels for me right now? I mean, I expected to have an uphill battle in winning over her feelings if I ever wanted to pursue a relationship with her, but could she feel something for me now? I suppose it's possible, but she doesn't show it if she does feel more than friendship for me. Maybe she just doesn't know how.she's not a flirt by any means and she knows it would be dangerous to pursue a relationship now. Maybe she's just being more level-headed than I am. '  
  
Vaughn pulled into the airport parking garage and left his car as he walked towards the Delta terminal.  
  
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'*Sigh*. Of course she would be sitting in front of me. I can't stop looking at her. She is so beautiful, from every angle. Her hair shines and looks so supple and soft. I should sleep, it's the only way I am going to be able to stop staring at her. Oh sweet Lord, she turned around. Her eyes are darting around the plane, probably looking for a stewardess. No, she's looking for me. I can feel it. She's spotted me now; I smile at her, slightly, as not to arouse the suspicion of the agent next to me. It's amazing, every time I look at her, it's like the first time I saw her, but now I have an understanding of her inner workings too. And my understanding of all she has been through has only made my love for her deeper and stronger.'  
  
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	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Just to let you know: I know nothing about England. Never been there, and I probably never will. If I offend anyone that is English, I apologize now.  
  
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'I woke up when the plane landed in New York to refuel, but I really didn't feel like doing anything but going back to sleep. I had dreamed about him, and it was weird, like all dreams usually are, but it was also wonderful.  
  
We were standing in the warehouse, and it was dark, as usual. Then, bright lights came on, and it was like we were relieved that the warehouse was no longer in complete darkness. We began to kiss and embrace, and then we made our way to the nearest table and...  
  
Then we landed in New York and I was awakened. I really don't want to move - I'd rather go back to sleep and go back to that dream, but my stomach is telling me otherwise. *Sigh*, I missed the in-flight meal and I haven't really eaten since an apple this morning. Geez, I need to start eating better. If Francie is here to shove food down my throat, I just forget to eat.'  
  
Sydney unbuckled her seatbelt and stretched her arms. She stood up and looked around.  
  
'Hmm, I wonder if Vaughn is going to get something to eat. It's always kind of exciting eating my lunch, knowing he's sitting behind me, but having to talk to the air in front of you instead. Yeah, it's exciting, but I'd rather be at the same table as him, looking into those gorgeous eyes.OK, enough of that for now, just go get something to eat.'  
  
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'Great, I still feel hungry. Hopefully, they'll have another meal over the Atlantic because that Taco Bell taco wasn't too filling. Hey, when you can't carry a wallet and you have to skip out of the country at a moment's notice, one would think that I would carry more cash.of course, I don't. But hey, for a dollar, I think I did pretty good.  
  
Vaughn is asleep now. He looks so peaceful, although I don't know how he slept through the takeoff; no matter how many times I fly, for some reason, I cannot relax until after the takeoff. Well, at least I can sleep now, maybe even get back to that dream in the warehouse.'  
  
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After the plane lands in London, Sydney exits the airport and waits in front of the Delta terminal, as planned.  
  
'OK, so I didn't have any dreams. Not one. And I missed the in-flight meal, again. Well, at least if this goes smoothly, we'll be back on a plane in a couple of hours. No, we [I]will[/I] be back on a plane in a couple of hours, and with all the sleep I got on the way over here, I will be sure to catch the in-flight dinner. Great, I think that's him pulling up. Whew, it is. Oh man, he's smiling from ear to ear, what in the world does he have up his sleeve.'  
  
Vaughn jumps out of the car, runs around it and proceeds to hug Sydney while picking her up off the ground.  
  
"Je suis si heureux de vous voir! C'a été tellement longtemps vieil ami! Je suis si heureux vous avez accepté de me rencontrer à Londres pendant vos vacances! Qui penserait que nous tous les deux serions ici des vacances en même temps? Venez, laissez-nous montent et attrapent!" Vaughn says while gazing straight into her eyes.  
  
'Oh my God, I should probably respond to that, but he is so damned sexy when he speaks French, and I think he knows it. Why is he doing this? Maybe he thinks we're being followed, but I haven't noticed anyone. Well, I guess it would help if I had been [I]looking[/I] for tails. Shit, I have been thinking about nothing but Vaughn and I forgot to even check for them.'  
  
"Oui, laissez-nous vont!" Sydney replied in a happy tone.  
  
In a lower voice, as he is opening her door, Sydney said, "Are we being tailed?"  
  
"No, not that I know of, but I want to make sure we look pretty normal just in case."  
  
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"I need you to look in that bag and tell me where I'm going," Vaughn said as he was driving rather quickly away from the airport.  
  
"Um," I said as I rifle through the duffle bag for a folder with some kind of briefing. "Here it is. We are to go to - this can't be right -"  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Buckingham Palace?! That's where the Alliance keeps - oh Lord. It says we'll be retrieving an electronic address book of sorts. It lists everything that the CIA has been needing to take down the Alliance!"  
  
"Alright, off to the Palace we go!"  
  
"It says that we'll need to get into the basement and then down to sublevel 2. There's a room marked 'Executive Entrance - Private', and the book is in a safe in there. It doesn't mention any out of the ordinary security or anything. This is odd." I couldn't help but think that the CIA was missing something.  
  
"Hopefully, this will just be an in and out op," Vaughn said cheerfully.  
  
'OK, I need to get my mind out of the gutter - now.'  
  
"Yeah, um, hopefully," I replied, now fully aware that my cheeks are bright red.  
  
"Don't worry Syd," Vaughn said reassuringly as he placed his hand on Sydney's knee. "This will all be over soon, I promise."  
  
'From the point where he touched my knee and on, I think that a Nuclear Bomb could have been dropped outside and I wouldn't have known it. I became a puddle in our rental car. This mission better go smoothly, or I will be so angry.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I feel like I haven't posted in forever, but I am planning a party, so after the party on Friday, and after I recover on Saturday, I should be ok!! LOL!! The next Vaughn pov chap is here!!!  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'Airplane food is always horrible. I forced myself to eat it though, I knew I would be hungry later if I didn't and I usually like to sleep during the layover. Syd slept through the meal; she didn't miss anything. A cold grilled chicken breast sandwich, parsley potatoes, and some kind of green vegetable mess. I wish I could see her face from where I'm sitting. I would have liked to watch her sleep. I'll bet she looks like an angel when she's asleep; she does when she's awake. There are so many things that have gone wrong in her life, so many tragedies, so many heartaches; I wouldn't even wish what she's been through on Haladki. Yet, despite all that has happened to her, she is the nicest and most down to earth person I know. *Sigh* I think I should get some rest before we get to London.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'Planes relax me so much. I don't know why, but I slept better on that flight than I ever have on a plane. Maybe it's because Syd was on the plane with me. Her presence is both calming and exciting simultaneously. If she only knew how much I thought about her, how much I love her, how I would do anything for her, she would have no question that I want to spend the rest of my life with her, no question that she can always trust me - no matter what. However, if she could see what I was thinking about her sometimes, I think I would get slapped..'  
  
"Hi, welcome to Hertz. Can I help you?" This cheerful line pulled me out of my dream world.  
  
"Um, yeah. I'm David Jones. I have a vehicle reserved I believe?" 'I hate this alias. I know its so common that it would be extra hard to track, but still, what a boring name.'  
  
"Yes, Mr. Jones, your reservation is right here, if I could just see two forms of ID, and get your signature here and here, we'll get you on your way."  
  
'I comprehended what the woman was saying, but all I was really paying attention to was Sydney walking across the terminal towards the outer doors of the Delta terminal. I didn't think that she could ever look any more beautiful, but she did. Maybe it was because she didn't know I was looking at her, but her natural beauty simply lit up the terminal and my face turned into a huge grin as well.'  
  
"Sir? Sir?"  
  
'The Hertz agent was attempting to give me the keys to my rental.'  
  
"Oh, thanks a lot." I murmured as I walked quickly to the rental lot.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'OK, enough day dreaming, I have got to get focused on this mission. Well, first I have to find the rental car.'  
  
Vaughn meandered through the car lot until he spotted the huge gray Dodge van.  
  
'This thing is huge! Well, at least its got enough room for us to change clothes in the back..s***. I have got to find something to occupy my mind. OK, tails. What if we're being tailed already? OK, that's easy enough to shake; I just need a good cover. OK, my best foreign language is French, so, maybe I could..hmmmm...be a friend picking Syd up at the airport for a visit? Yeah, that would work. I mean, there are French people in England too. OK, there she is, time to work.'  
  
Vaughn pulled up to the curb and jumped out of the van, walking quickly towards Sydney,   
  
'She is going to be shocked! I can't wait to see the look on her face.'  
  
Vaughn grabbed Sydney up off the ground and hugged her tightly. As he set her down, he said in an audible voice:  
  
"Je suis si heureux de vous voir! C'a été tellement longtemps vieil ami! Je suis si heureux vous avez accepté de me rencontrer à Londres pendant vos vacances! Qui penserait que nous tous les deux serions ici des vacances en même temps? Venez, laissez-nous montent et attrapent!"  
  
'I set her down, not really wanting to, and looked straight into her eyes, trying to let her know that everything is ok.'  
  
"Oui, laissez-nous vont!" she replies, looking slightly confused, yet almost faint.  
  
'I lead her to the van, opening her door, and as she steps in she asks,'  
  
"Are we being tailed?"  
  
"No, not that I know of, but I want to make sure we look pretty normal just in case."   
  
'Her big brown eyes are good at hiding her secrets, but I think I see a hint of fear in them as I shut her door.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
"I need you to look in that bag and tell me where I'm going."  
  
'Just try and keep this strictly business for now. Talk about the mission and you'll be fine. Just breathe.'  
  
"Um, here it is. We are to go to - this can't be right -" Sydney stopped in mid-sentence.  
  
"Where?" 'I am so afraid that I am going to get her hurt on this mission. I am not used to field work anymore.'  
  
"Buckingham Palace?! That's where the Alliance keeps - oh Lord. It says we'll be retrieving an electronic address book of sorts. It lists everything that the CIA has been needing to take down the Alliance!"  
  
"Alright, off to the Palace we go!" 'Just sound confident. She needs to think that I believe this mission will go off without a hitch.'  
  
"It says that we'll need to get into the basement and then down to sublevel 2. There's a room marked 'Executive Entrance - Private', and the book is in a safe in there. It doesn't mention any out of the ordinary security or anything. This is odd."   
  
"Hopefully, this will just be an in and out op," 'Fat chance, but I can always hope for the best.'  
  
"Yeah, um, hopefully," Sydney replied.  
  
"Don't worry Syd," 'Is she blushing? Nah, why would she be blushing? Maybe she's just nervous.'  
  
Subconsciously, Vaughn places his hand on Sydney's knee.  
  
"This will all be over soon, I promise."   
  
'I must be an idiot. My hand is on Sydney Bristow's knee. So much for keeping this all business.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	9. Chapter 9

"Um, our mission clothes are here in the bag. I'll go change in the back," Sydney said to Vaughn, as casually as possible on her way back to change.  
  
'I am such a moron. I have changed clothes in this man's trunk before and I can't even begin this mission with him without almost losing my head. Just change clothes in the back quickly and get back up front. That's all I have to do.'  
  
Sydney began to undress and change into her black cat suit. Suddenly Vaughn made a quick left turn that sent Sydney crashing into the side of the van.  
  
"OOMPH!" Sydney let out as she hit the van wall.  
  
'Sorry about that! I wanted to make a few circles in case we were being tailed," Vaughn replied quickly. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, I've been through worse," Sydney laughed.  
  
'I wonder if he saw me naked. I mean, he must have glanced in the rearview mirror; it's instinctive when you hear your partner hit the side of the van. I wonder if he did, I wonder if he is thinking about what I'm.Stop. No point in thinking about that - yet.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'The plan is to sneak into the Palace and get down to the basement. The easiest entrance is on the west end, by the kitchen. These blueprints are fairly straightforward. I could probably understand them better if I could stop thinking of Vaughn getting dressed in the van. He runs and works out a lot, I'll bet he is so toned and lean.'  
  
"Hey, you ready?" Vaughn said quietly as he jumped out of the van, now dressed completely in black.  
  
'Oh, those pants were made for him. I'll bet that..LATER Syd.'  
  
"Yeah, let's get this over with," Sydney replied, slightly sighing.  
  
Vaughn turned towards the back of the van to get the gear.  
  
'Yeah, I knew he had a nice butt.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
"I see it, ahead on the left. 'Executive Entrance - Private'. That's it." Sydney could barely keep her excitement out of her voice.  
  
'This is it. My LAST mission. Just concentrate, it's almost over.'  
  
Sydney and Vaughn approached the door, and found it was locked. Sydney quickly picked the lock and they stepped through the door.  
  
"The safe is behind the painting on the east wall," Vaughn whispered.  
  
Within a minute, Sydney had unlocked the safe and retrieved the address book.  
  
"It looks like a palm pilot," Vaughn chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, it figures the Alliance would keep this important information in a rinky-dinky safe, arrogant bastards," Sydney replied. "Here, you take it."  
  
They stepped back out the door, returning the way they came through the dark corridor.  
  
Sydney was hit first by a sharp blow to the side of her head with an iron pipe. She was instantly knocked out. Before Vaughn could even react to what was happening, he felt a sharp pain in his neck. He pulled a dart from his neck as he fell to the ground, unconscious.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	10. Chapter 10

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'Once I finally got my hand off her knee, I noticed that she was turning even redder than before. I wonder if that was too much.well, what's done is done.'  
  
"Um, our mission clothes are here in the bag. I'll go change in the back," Sydney said as she left the passenger seat.  
  
'I should probably respond to her, but I can't even say anything - too much emotion choking me up. OK, I just need to concentrate on the mission - like that has ever worked before. Tails, I need to make some circles to lose any tails. This van has horrible handling.OK, make a few lefts, rights, oh, here's a side street.'  
  
"OOMPH!" came a surprised yelp from the rear of the van.  
  
'Shi*! I must have caught her off balance! I hope she's oka.oh God. she's nearly naked. OK, eyes back on the road.just say SOMETHING to her!'  
  
"Sorry about that! I wanted to make a few circles in case we were being tailed," Vaughn replied unsteadily. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, I've been through worse," Sydney replied, seemingly amused.  
  
'Oh my God, I hope we have at least five minutes until we get there because it will be that long before I can get out of this seat.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'OK, I can get dressed, I can concentrate on this retrieval, Sydney was just undressed back here.not now, I can't afford to sit in here for another five minutes. Just get out and get this over with.'  
  
"Hey, you ready?" Vaughn said as he got out of the van.  
  
'She looks startled. She looks so beautiful when she gets.*Sigh*.I wonder if I'll ever be able to control my mind.'  
  
"Yeah, let's get this over with," Sydney replied with bright eyes.  
  
Vaughn turned to the back of the van to get the gear for them.  
  
'Did she just sigh? I must be imagining things.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
"I see it, ahead on the left. 'Executive Entrance - Private'. That's it." Sydney said quietly as they were making their way down Buckingham Palace's basement corridors.  
  
'I am about to have a heart attack. I don't know how Sydney does this every week. This is a lot of pressure; God she is such a strong person. Geez, she already has the lock open.'  
  
"The safe is behind the painting on the east wall," Vaughn whispered.  
  
'Just let her work, this is where she excels, this is her forte. She is made for this; I could never be this good at this. God, she's already got it open. Too quick for me.'  
  
"It looks like a palm pilot," Vaughn chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, it figures the Alliance would keep this important information in a rinky-dinky safe, arrogant bastards," Sydney replied. "Here, you take it."  
  
They stepped back out the door, returning the way they came through the dark corridor.  
  
Sydney was hit first by a sharp blow to the side of her head with an iron pipe. She was instantly knocked out. Before Vaughn could even react to what was happening, he felt a sharp pain in his neck. He pulled a dart from his neck as he fell to the ground, unconscious.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	11. Chapter 11

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'Oh man..my head is killing me...What the hell happened...Geez, I can't remember why I'm here. What in the world am I doing here?'  
  
Sydney sat up in the bad she had been lying in for almost a full day. She glanced around the unfamiliar room, trying to get her bearings.  
  
'OK, I can't remember anything. OK, just calm down, don't panic. Start simple. OK, I am Sydney B. Bristow. God, my head hurts. OK, what else.all that keeps repeating in my head is Michael Vaughn and that I love him. Why? I can't even picture his face right now. I really don't know where I am, God, ok, I am beginning to worry. Why can't I remember anything? I must have friends, family, a job, SHI*!! OK, don't panic, just keep cool. Just.'  
  
Sydney's thoughts were interrupted by the bedroom door opening. A man entered with a tray of food and a glass of water.  
  
'He's handsome. Who is he? I feel like I know him.'  
  
"I see you're awake Ms. Bristow," said the man, staring at her with intense blue eyes.  
  
'OK, he knows who I am, but, who is he?'  
  
"Who are you?" Sydney asks, tentatively.  
  
"Who am I? You don't know who I am? Are you being coy? It's attractive on you, but really, stop with the games. Would you like something to eat?"  
  
"I'm not playing any games! I would like to know who you are! I can't remember anything!" Sydney began to cry and her head began to pound from the wound. "All I can recall is a name! Are you Michael Vaughn? Are you the man I love?"  
  
"Yes, darling. I am Michael," the man replied with a slight smirk. "Here, eat some food and get some rest. You took a nasty fall earlier down the stairs."  
  
He kissed her forehead and cupped his hand around her cheek.  
  
"You'll feel better in the morning, I promise."  
  
"Alright," Sydney replied as the man kissed her lips gently.  
  
"I love you. Just remember that and everything else will fall into place," the man whispered into Sydney's ear gently.  
  
Sydney ate her dinner ravenously, still feeling as though something seemed out of place. ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	12. Chapter 12

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'Where am I?'  
  
Vaughn slowly opened his eyes from his drug-induced state and began to take in his surroundings.  
  
'God, I feel like I have a hangover, my vision is sorta blurry too, what the hell happened..SHI*! '  
  
"SYDNEY!!" Vaughn screamed, jumping up and looking around him hopelessly.  
  
'Where the hell am I? I don't recognize this area; dammit, I'm probably still in London. OK, nighttime in a strange city, no problem. the question is why whoever attacked Syd and me dropped me off on a sidewalk. Why wasn't I tortured, why wasn't I killed, and more importantly, where the fuc* is Syd..'  
  
Suddenly Vaughn's cell phone rang.  
  
'Oh thank God I still have my cell phone..'  
  
Vaughn reached into his pocket and fumbled for his phone, meanwhile feeling something else in his pocket as well.  
  
"Vaughn," he said while going back into his pocket to find the mystery object.  
  
"Hey man, I thought that was you!" It was Eric.  
  
"Thought who was me?" Vaughn replied as he fished the object out of his pocket. It was the "palm pilot".  
  
"On the corner! Hey man, do you need a ride?"  
  
'Why is Eric in London, and why didn't the attackers take this?! This is surely why we were attacked! Oh my God, I have got to get this to the CIA and find Sydney.'  
  
"Michael? Michael? You still there? I'm turning around to get you ok?"  
  
"Huh? Um, yeah, Eric," Vaughn began as he saw a car down the street make a slow u-turn and head in his direction. "Why are you in London?"  
  
"London? What are you talking about?"  
  
Eric hung up his cell phone as his car pulled up to the curb beside Vaughn.  
  
"You're in L.A. Michael."  
  
"What do you mean I'm in L.A? The last thing I remember is Syd and me getting attacked in Buckingham. She was hit in the head with something and I got shot with a tranquillizer dart. How am I in L.A.?" Vaughn asked Eric as he got into the car and they drove off.  
  
"Your guess is as good as mine, but neither you nor Syd have checked in since your mission began. You both were due back into L.A. in a couple of hours from now," Eric answered. "You really need to get that wound on your neck looked at man, you don't want it to get infected."  
  
"Look Eric, we need to get to the CIA and quick," Vaughn told Eric as he pulled the "address book" from his pocket. "This is the end of SD-6. And after I turn this into Devlin, I'm going to find Sydney. Our attackers split us up, and I have to find her. And before you say it, no I will not wait for the CIA retrieval team to find her. To me, the end of SD-6 means nothing if she's not here with me."  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	13. Chapter 13

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Sydney awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and content.  
  
'Mmm, this bed is so comfortable, but I've slept in it before right? I mean, it is Michael's bed and we are together, right? God why can't I rememb.'  
  
"Good morning beautiful," the sleepy figure beside her mumbled as he rolled over to face her.  
  
"Hey, mornin'," Sydney replied.  
  
'His accent seems strange to me. Why is that? Do I really have amnesia, because I can't remember anything beyond Michael's name!? Maybe if I ask some questions it will jog my memory.'  
  
"Michael? Can I ask you some things, you know, so I can maybe remember."  
  
"Of course, anything you want. What would you like to know?"  
  
"Well, um, for starters, do I have any family?"  
  
"No sweetie. Your mom and dad were both killed in a car accident when you were young. Your Uncle Arvin and Aunt Emily raised you. Emily just recently died from cancer and Arvin was..well.I'm sorry to have to tell you this again, I mean, it is the reason you fell down the stairs in the first place, begin so shocked at the news and all, you fainted, but Arvin was killed - murdered. The police are doing everything they can, but..  
  
"God.I wish I could remember them."  
  
"You will darling, just give it time. Anything else?"  
  
"Um, well, how about you? What do you like and dislike? I'm hoping for something to spark a memory in my brain."  
  
"Well, I enjoy my job, I'm an international salesman. I do not care for sports, especially hockey. So brutal.anyway, I am also without any family to speak of, like you. I enjoy fine dining and my favorite wine is Chateau Petreuse... '82. Oh, and I love you with all my heart," The man said as he leaned into Sydney for a kiss on the cheek.  
  
'Why am I not remembering any of this? God, maybe I never will. He is being so sweet to me though. I feel so bad that I can't remember anything.'  
  
"What about me? Where do I work? What do I like?"  
  
"Oh, um, well, you don't work. I mean, you did until we got together, but I finally persuaded you to quit your job - it was too stressful on you. You used to work at a bank though. They had you travel to all parts of the world at God-awful hours. It was taking a toll on our relationship."  
  
"I thought you said you were an international salesman; don't you travel?"  
  
"Rarely. I mostly work via internet. Anyway, you like a lot of healthy foods, you usually don't eat any junk food like ice cream or fried foods, you don't drink, and you love me," The man leaned into Sydney again for a kiss but Sydney got out of bed.  
  
"I need to take a shower and get clean - I just feel so dirty. Where's the bathroom?"  
  
"Just across the hall. Take all the time you need dear. I took the week off from work to help you recover."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Sydney walked over to the bathroom and locked herself in.  
  
'God this feels SO wrong..something is wrong, something is off..God, what is happening to me.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	14. Chapter 14

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
"Wait - let me see if I understand this - you were attacked during your mission and still came back with the intel, but not Agent Bristow?" Devlin looked bewilderedly at Vaughn across his desk, trying to make sense of everything that he was just told.  
  
"Yes sir, I think that perhaps our attackers did not know what the intel looked like, and just thought that was a palm pilot, so they did not bother to take it from me," Vaughn replied.  
  
"That's unlikely. If they had been there for the same intel as you were, they would have been quite familiar with it. I don't think they were after the same thing as you and Agent Bristow; in fact, from the way it's looking, they may have simply wanted Agent Bristow," Devlin said.  
  
'Why would they want her? I swear to God, when I find whoever is responsible for this I am going to kick their as.'  
  
"Agent Vaughn? Did you hear me?" Devlin had been talking, and Vaughn had no idea what had been said.  
  
"Um, yes sir, I um."  
  
"No you didn't. You would have been arguing with me by now if you had. I said you need to go home and get some rest while the CIA locates Agen."  
  
"No. I'm sorry, but you know I can't do that sir. "  
  
'What? He thinks I'm going to go home and get a 'good night's rest' while Sydney could be being tortured, maimed, or ..worse. No way in hell am I going home.'  
  
"With all due respect sir, I am refusing to go home. I am going to go into my office and make as many phone calls as it takes to find out where Sy - Agent Bristow - is. And when I do locate her, I will be on a plane, with or without your endorsement - sir."  
  
Devlin sighed aloud.  
  
"I knew you wouldn't listen to me. But even if I suspended you it wouldn't change your mind. Just remember that if you let yourself become too exposed, you could jeopardize out takedown of SD-6. Good luck Agent Vaughn, I'll let you know if we get any leads."  
  
"Thank you sir," Vaughn called over his shoulder as he ran down the hall to his office.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'This world is too dam* big. Where am I supposed to begin?'  
  
Vaughn stared at the piles of paperwork on his desk.  
  
'I have pulled every file that even mentions Sydney and I still have nothing. None of my contacts have anything, and even Jack reported that his contacts are having no luck either. Why hasn't she tried to contact someone? I don't even know where to begin looki-'  
  
Ring!Ring! Vaughn's cell phone went off in his coat pocket across the room. Stumbling across boxes and files, he finally reached the chair his coat was hung on. The number on the caller ID was not familiar.  
  
"Vaughn."  
  
"Um, is your name Michael Vaughn?" a timid voice said on the other end of the line.  
  
"Yes, who is.Sydney?! Is that you?!"  
  
'That's her voice!!! Oh thank God she's alive!!'  
  
"Um, yes, I'm Sydney. Can I ask you who you are? I mean, I, well, you are supposed to be back in a couple of hours, but you don't sound like Michael. And this is not the cell phone number you gave me to call you on - I remembered it. I remembered that this is your number, but I don't recognize your voice."  
  
'What is wrong with her? She's not making any sense! Oh God, let her be alright!'  
  
"What are you talking about? Of course it's me! And what do you mean I don't sound like Michael - I AM Michael! Wait - Syd - are you being held hostage? Did they give you some kind of drug?"  
  
"No, I haven't been drugged! Why are you asking me this? You are the one who told me that I fell down the stairs and that's why I have amnesia! Why are you acting so funny?"  
  
'Oh shi*. No no no no no no.. She has amnesia and someone is posing as me..she must have remembered me but not details, like what I look like and ...SHI*! How do I fix this.think..think.!!'  
  
"Um, Syd, this is going to sound really weird, but can you describe me? I mean, physically and whatever else you can think of?"  
  
"You are acting so strange..ok, you have blue eyes, blond hair, you hate sports - especially hockey - and your favorite wine is Chateau Petreuse... '82. Why do you want to know? Look, the reason I was calling is because I heard you talking on the phone earlier, while I was in the shower, you answered the phone and said 'Sark'. Is that 'hello' in some other language or something?"  
  
'Sark has her. That little.I am going to crush his..'  
  
"Syd - stay where you are - I am coming to get you. Are you on a land line at the place you are staying right now?"  
  
"Yeah, look, I'm sorry for eavesdropping, I just."  
  
"Don't worry about it - just stay there! OK?"  
  
"Ok, I will. Bye."  
  
Vaughn bolted out of his office, headed towards the tech offices.  
  
"I need a number traced NOW!" Vaughn said loudly as he bolted through the office's door.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	15. Chapter 15

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Sydney let her body slide down the bathroom door, her face beginning to crumble.  
  
'Why am I crying? Why aren't I the happiest person in the world? Vaughn is treating me like a queen and all I can do is sit in here and cry! But, that's why I'm crying, isn't it? Something doesn't fit, like a piece has been forced into the puzzle. That's what I've become - a puzzle. I have bit and pieces of information scattered in my head that I can't fit together! It's like I've gone insane and am completely aware of it! OK, just take a shower, just take a shower and let yourself relax and maybe something will come to you.'  
  
Sydney stood in the shower after she was clean, letting the water pour over her.  
  
'That did no good. I'm still just as stressed as when I woke up. What the hell can I do to recall my memories?'  
  
Sydney leaned down to shut the water off and she heard the phone ring. She stood silently in the shower and listened to the water drip from her, waiting for Michael to answer the phone.  
  
'Why am I standing here as quietly as possible? Why did I suddenly go into stealth mode when I know Michael has to answer the phone? Why am I so interested in.'  
  
"Sark," he said as he answered the phone.  
  
'Sark? What or who is Sark? Why would he answer the phone like that? OK, this is getting a little to weird for me. Now I can't hear him, shi*, I can't hear what he's saying. '  
  
Sydney quickly exited the shower stall and wrapped an oversized towel around herself.  
  
'I'll just act like I'm going to get some clothes. He won't know I'm trying to listen to him. He'll just think that I.'  
  
Sydney swung open the bathroom door to find Sark staring at her, hand poised to knock.  
  
"Ah, there you are. Well, I just wanted to let you know that the office called and they need me to go in for just a couple of hours. It's nothing that will keep me long, they are all just incompetent fools. Will you be alright by yourself for just a while?"  
  
"Um, of course. That shower helped out a lot!" Sydney lied.  
  
'Why am I lying to him? The question is, why is he lying to me? I know he is, I can feel it.'  
  
"Great," Sark replied, placing a soft kiss on Sydney's lips. "I'll be back, and I think you will like what I have planned for later tonight," Sark said coyly as he turned and walked down the hall towards the front door. "If you need me, my cell number is by the phone in the bedroom, love," Sark called behind him as he was leaving.  
  
Sydney waited until she heard the front door shut to collapse. She sat in a heap in the bathroom doorway, crying her eyes out until her subconscious grabbed her attention.  
  
'Call Vaughn. Call him. You know his number. Just dial and you'll get Vaughn.'  
  
Wanting any relief from her confusion and pain, Sydney managed to collect herself enough to make her way to the phone and dial the numbers that were deeply implanted in her heart and soul.  
  
'OK, just breathe. Don't sound like you were crying, just tell him you wanted to say he.'  
  
"Vaughn."  
  
'What? Who in the world did I call? This doesn't sound like him! But this number..I remember this number from somewhere! I remember this being Michael's phone number! Yes! It is! But who is this that answered?'  
  
"Um, is your name Michael Vaughn?" Sydney said with as much courage as she could muster.  
  
"Yes, who is.Sydney?! Is that you?!"  
  
'Well, he sure sounds excited to hear from me! But that's not Michael's voice! What the hell is going on here?!'  
  
"Um, yes, I'm Sydney. Can I ask you who you are? I mean, I, well, you are supposed to be back in a couple of hours, but you don't sound like Michael. And this is not the cell phone number you gave me to call you on - I remembered it. I remembered that this is your number, but I don't recognize your voice."  
  
"What are you talking about? Of course it's me! And what do you mean I don't sound like Michael - I AM Michael! Wait - Syd - are you being held hostage? Did they give you some kind of drug?"  
  
'What the hell.?! He leaves for fifteen minutes and he thinks that I'm being held hostage?'  
  
"No, I haven't been drugged! Why are you asking me this? You are the one who told me that I fell down the stairs and that's why I have amnesia! Why are you acting so funny?"  
  
"Um, Syd, this is going to sound really weird, but can you describe me? I mean, physically and whatever else you can think of?"  
  
"You are acting so strange..ok, you have blue eyes, blond hair, you hate sports - especially hockey - and your favorite wine is Chateau Petreuse... '82. Why do you want to know? Look, the reason I was calling is because I heard you talking on the phone earlier, while I was in the shower, you answered the phone and said 'Sark'. Is that 'hello' in some other language or something?"  
  
'There. I asked him. Now what can he say to that?'  
  
"Syd - stay where you are - I am coming to get you. Are you on a land line at the place you are staying right now?"  
  
'God he sounds pissed. Oh man, I didn't want to make him mad!'  
  
"Yeah, look, I'm sorry for eavesdropping, I just."  
  
"Don't worry about it - just stay there! OK?"  
  
"Ok, I will. Bye."  
  
'Guess that work he had to leave for wasn't that important after all.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	16. Chapter 16

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'Hong Kong, of all places. The only flight I could get is this overnighter, and I can't get to her until morning. So much for CIA priority. That doesn't mean jack to these damn airlines. *Sigh* I should really get some sleep, otherwise, I won't have the brainpower to get her out undetected. How can I sleep? Why is this damn ocean so big?! I feel like I'm going to explode before I can even get to her. I mean, when we get back to L.A., nothing will be standing in our way; SD-6 will be gone, and the CIA and Barnett can shove their protocol suggestions up their.'  
  
"Can I get you a blanket and pillow sir?" the flight attendant cooed, noticing that Vaughn was beginning to nod off.  
  
"Huh? Oh, um, sure, that'd be great," Vaughn replied.  
  
'Ok, just concentrate on getting some sleep, worry about those pricks later. First you have to get Sydney, who apparently has amnesia, back to safety. I just hope that Sark hasn't hurt her, because if he has, he will be sorry he was ever born.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'It's nearly dawn and I still can't find this place. I've been wondering around the streets of this glitzy neighborhood in the outskirts of Hong Kong for nearly two hours and I can't find one simple street. Damn, I wish I had learned to read... what language is this? Chinese? Wait! That's it, that's the street!'  
  
Vaughn hurriedly jogged to the cross street and then turned right onto the street. He immediately saw the house number he was looking for, and ducked into the backyard, looking for a way in.  
  
'I wonder if this is Sark's home. That would figure. The little bastard probably brought her here to avoid detection. But what does he want with her? And why isn't there any security? Humph, he probably feels like the king of his castle, no need to.I wonder.'  
  
Vaughn tried the doorknob and found the door to be unlocked.  
  
'Arrogant little shit.'  
  
Vaughn quietly closed the door, and snuck through the adjoining kitchen.  
  
'Where would he be keeping her? Upstairs probably since she said something about him telling her she fell down the stairs.'  
  
Vaughn made his way to the grand staircase and quickly climbed them, taking two steps at a time. A set of double doors at the end of the hallway caught Vaughn's eye.  
  
'The master bedroom. Well, if I can't find Sydney first, I can at least deal with Sark.'  
  
Vaughn approached the doors and reached out to open one. He quietly turned the doorknob and the door cracked open slightly. Vaughn peeked his head through the small crack and nearly gasped at what he saw. Forgetting that he was trying to be stealthy, Vaughn stood and fully opened the door while drawing his gun. He stepped into the room heavily and Sark awoke to a gun pointed at his head.  
  
"What did you do to her?" Vaughn said shakily, his anger almost blurring his words completely.  
  
"Why don't you just calm down Mr. Vaughn, you wouldn't want to wake the fragile Sydney.  
  
Vaughn pulled the hammer back on his gun.  
  
"I will kill you and not think twice about it. You give her to me and I will consider killing you quickly. Otherwise, I will shoot you in the shoulders, stomach and legs, and you will slowly bleed to death. You're going to die either way, so you may as well give me what I want so you can go quickly."  
  
Sark's smug smile quickly left his face as he saw that Vaughn was completely serious. This man was going to kill him if he even moved a muscle.  
  
"Michael? Who is that?" Sydney had awakened.  
  
"Syd! Are you ok?" Vaughn asked, his heart nearly in pieces.  
  
"Who are you? What do you want from us?" The look on Sydney's face was not one of recognition.  
  
'She doesn't recognize me. Oh God, she still thinks he is me.'  
  
"Sark, tell her who you are. Tell her now or I swear to God I will shoot you now and explain to her later."  
  
"I'm afraid you have no leverage now Mr. Vau-"  
  
"What did you say?" Sydney asked Sark. "Did you just call him Vaughn? He's Michael Vaughn, isn't he? That's why I remembered his phone number! That's why none of this fit together! That's why I had an uneasy feeling about all this! You're not Michael!" Sydney was screeching at Sark, tears streaming down her face.  
  
"No, I'm not Michael. My name is David Sark. I'm sorry I lied to you, but I love you! You've got to believe me!" Sark took Sydney's hand and Vaughn could see the tears reflect in the sun that began to shine through the window. "Please give me another chance, please let me be everything you want and need! Please Sydney, I need you!"  
  
Sydney looked up to Vaughn whose gun was still trained on Sark's head. She looked back to Sark.  
  
"No. You are a horrible person. When I woke up, all I remembered was a name, a Michael Vaughn. You lied to me. You deserve whatever you get."  
  
Sydney got out of the bed, the sheet wrapped around her lithe body. She went to stand behind Vaughn as he raised his gun towards Sark.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	17. Chapter 17

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Sydney hung up the phone and strode over to her closet to find something to wear besides a towel.  
  
'I can't even think straight. That was not Michael's voice, but I know that voice. I used to hear that voice a lot; I used to want to hear that voice. But why? Why can't I remember anything but bits and pieces of memories? Why did I remember a different phone number to reach Michael on? Why did he sound so upset? Why did he ask me all those weird questions? Why.'  
  
Sydney heard the front door open and close.  
  
'Michael.'  
  
Sydney ran from the bedroom to go and greet Michael. She saw him by the hall table, emptying his pockets and taking his coat off.  
  
"Michael!" Sydney said as tears came to her eyes.  
  
"Hello Sydn-what's wrong dear?" Michael asked as he came over to Sydney and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"I..I'm just having a rough time with all of this, you know, not being able to remember." Sydney stammered, burying her head into Michael's shoulder.  
  
"Dear, I told you that it will come! Don't trouble yourself over those details! Now come with me into the kitchen and tell me what you would like for lunch, my treat!" Michael said soothingly as he caressed Sydney's back.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
As the evening approached, Michael and Sydney lay entwined on the couch watching 'First Knight', Sydney's mind began to race again.  
  
'This is nice. This is what I've wanted from life, but why is my heart telling me something is wrong. What else could I want? Well, Michael was acting strange earlier on the phone, very strange in fact, should I ask him about it? Maybe he's just trying to forget about it since I did tell him that I was eavesdropping. God, I don't know what I should.'  
  
"Would you like to go upstairs dear?" Michael whispered into Sydney's ear as he began to kiss her neck.  
  
'My head is pounding, oh man, this concussion is taking a long time to heal. I can barely stay awake suddenly..' Sydney lost consciousness as Michael gathered her in his arms and carried her up to his bedroom.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Sydney awoke to find a dark figure hovering next to the bed, gun drawn. The man's voice was familiar, yet she could sense the anger in it. She only comprehended the last of his sentence.  
  
".me what I want so you can go quickly." The shadow said with increasing anger.  
  
'Who the hell is this? And why am I naked?' Sydney thought as she felt Michael behind her. She instinctively drew nearer to him and pulled the sheet up around her.  
  
"Michael? Who is that?" Sydney said as the two men looked at each other with intense hatred. They obviously knew and hated one another immensely.  
  
"Syd! Are you ok?" the man with the gun said with obvious concern in his voice. The same concern she remembered hearing over the phone today.  
  
'I wonder if this could be.'  
  
"Who are you? What do you want from us?" Sydney replied.  
  
'Time to find out who is who, once and for all. This man with the gun, he is drawing me to him. His voice, his presence, it's comforting, familiar, could this be Michael? Could I have this all wrong?'  
  
"Sark, tell her who you are. Tell her now or I swear to God I will shoot you now and explain to her later," the gunman said.  
  
'Sark. There's that word again. Is it a name?'  
  
"I'm afraid you have no leverage now Mr. Vau-"  
  
'What did he almost say? Oh no..no no no no no...'  
  
"What did you say?" Sydney asked Sark. "Did you just call him Vaughn? He's Michael Vaughn, isn't he? That's why I remembered his phone number! That's why none of this fit together! That's why I had an uneasy feeling about all this! You're not Michael!" Sydney was screeching at Sark, tears streaming down her face.  
  
'This can't be happening! What did this man do to me? I'm naked and in bed with a stranger! Oh God please no..'  
  
"No, I'm not Michael. My name is David Sark. I'm sorry I lied to you, but I love you! You've got to believe me!" Sark took Sydney's hand and she nearly punched him square in the face. "Please give me another chance, please let me be everything you want and need! Please Sydney, I need you!"  
  
Sydney looked up to Vaughn whose gun was still trained on Sark's head. She looked back to Sark. With the sunlight that began to stream into the room, Sydney could see the green of Vaughn's eyes staring back at her.  
  
'That's him. Those eyes, I could never forget those eyes.'  
  
"No. You are a horrible person. When I woke up, all I remembered was a name, a Michael Vaughn. You lied to me. You deserve whatever you get."  
  
Sydney got out of the bed, the sheet wrapped around her lithe body. She went to stand behind Vaughn as he raised his gun towards Sark.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	18. Chapter 18

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Sark moved quickly, but Vaughn was quicker. Sark reached under his pillow for his pistol and Vaughn pulled the trigger. Sark slumped onto the bed, dead from a single gunshot wound to the head.  
  
"Vaughn.Michael Vaughn.." Sydney mumbled from behind Vaughn, her voice wavering and almost cracking. Vaughn spun around and put his arms around Sydney, supporting her weight.  
  
"Sydney, Sydney are you ok? What did he do to you?"  
  
'If that bastard did anything to her, oh God, I'll never leave her alone again, no matter what. It's just us from now on, I don't give a damn what he did to her, I'm going to support her..'  
  
"I, I passed out after watching a movie and I was on the couch downstairs! I...I didn't come up here! He must have brought me up here and - Michael! I'm naked! What if he, he."  
  
"Sydney, it doesn't matter. I don't care. If he hurt you or did anything to you, just remember that I will always be here for you. OK, I will never, ever leave you, no matter what," Vaughn told Sydney as he looked at her tear stained face.  
  
"My head, it hurts."  
  
'She probably didn't get any medical attention. I've got to get her to a hospital before we fly back to L.A.'  
  
"Sydney, where's your clothes? Can you tell me.."  
  
Vaughn stopped short as he suddenly saw a pile of clothing near the foot of the bed.  
  
"Here Syd, sit over here on this chair, I've got to get you dressed."  
  
Vaughn guided her over to a chair and retrieved her clothes. He began to dress her as she began to fall in and out of consciousness.  
  
'I never thought I would have to rescue Sydney from a situation like this. I guess I just never let myself think about it.'  
  
Vaughn finished dressing Sydney and scooped her up in his arms. She was unconscious.  
  
'She is such a strong person. I can't even begin to imagine what he told her. She has amnesia and she had someone telling her lies. What else can she be put through? God, I hope she'll get her memory back after her concussion has healed. I want Sydney back.'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
"Are you Mr. Vaughn?" a doctor asked as he quietly approached Vaughn in the CIA hospital's waiting room.  
  
"Yes, that's me," Vaughn replied as he stood to shake the doctor's hand. "How is she? Is she going to recover?"  
  
"Well, I need to speak candidly with you. Please have a seat."  
  
The two men sat down and the doctor began.  
  
"As you know, Sydney received blunt force trauma to the head. She was also apparently in a pressurized environment after she was struck in the head. Do you know anything about that?"  
  
"Well, she was hit in the head in London, on a mission, and now she's here in Hong Kong, so, yeah, they probably flew her here."  
  
"Well, all I can say is that I'm glad you brought her here before you took her back to L.A. because she probably would have died from a blood clot that could have developed in her brain."  
  
Vaughn gulped and the blood drained from his face.  
  
"She'll recover from her head injury, but the amnesia is something I can give you no guarantees about. Amnesia that is caused from trauma of any kind is highly unpredictable. I cannot tell you if she'll remember anything else beyond what you told the nurse she already has." The doctor paused and sighed. There was more. "I really came out here to tell you something else though. You probably already had guessed most of what I already told you, but I felt like you should know what I'm about to tell you before you go in and see her, and maybe you'd want to tell her yourself. Mr. Vaughn, Agent Bristow was raped. I think you already know by whom, according to the situation you found her in, but I just want you to know that it was fairly brutal and she could have diseases or even possibly be pregnant. Now, I need to ask you if you would like one of us to tell her or do you want to tell her? She has no idea. She thinks the bruises are from a fall down the stairs. "  
  
Vaughn covered his face with his hands and began to weep.  
  
"I'll tell her," he said between sobs. "I'll tell her." ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	19. Chapter 19

Sydney stood behind Vaughn, clutching his shirt with sweaty hands, burying her face into his back.  
  
'This is so wrong.I can't believe I was so stupid! And I'm naked! There's no telling what Sark -'  
  
Sydney's thoughts were interrupted by a single gunshot.  
  
'It's over. It's over...oh God my head...he's here.he's here.'  
  
"Vaughn.Michael Vaughn.." Sydney murmured, beginning to weaken in the knees.  
  
'Oh God, what have I done to him, what is he going to think of me? I just got out of bed with that Sark guy and I have nothing but a sheet on! I don't even know how the hell..'  
  
"Sydney, Sydney are you ok? What did he do to you?"  
  
"I, I passed out after watching a movie and I was on the couch downstairs! I...I didn't come up here! He must have brought me up here and - Michael! I'm naked! What if he, he."  
  
'I don't want to even think about what that bastard did, I can't even think about..God, I can't even think my head is pounding so hard.'  
  
"Sydney, it doesn't matter. I don't care. If he hurt you or did anything to you, just remember that I will always be here for you. OK, I will never, ever leave you, no matter what."  
  
'He understands. He loves me. He really loves me. Oh God I want to remember what he means to me fully. He is so perfect, so perf...'  
  
"My head, it hurts."  
  
"Sydney, where's your clothes? Can you tell me.."  
  
'Clothes, clothes, God, I don't remember taking my clothes off.'  
  
"Here Syd, sit over here on this chair, I've got to get you dressed."  
  
'I just need some rest I think, just going to close my eyes for a little while..'  
  
Sydney lost consciousness as Vaughn finished dressing her and cradled her in his arms.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Sydney awakened to a white ceiling and a wall-mounted television.  
  
'A hospital. God, I don't even know what city I'm in. I can't even move without my body hurting. At least my head feels a bit better.I'm probably drugged though. Wait. Where's Michael? I.I.where is he? Why isn't her here!? Oh God, what if something happened to him? What if.'  
  
The door clicked open and Sydney looked over to see Michael Vaughn standing in the doorway, tears nearly overflowing from his eyes.  
  
'Oh no, what happened to me? Oh God.I am going to die?'  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	20. Chapter 20

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'OK Michael, pull yourself together. She is a grown woman, she can handle this, she has to know about this, and not from a stranger - from you. See, that's just it - she shouldn't have to just handle it, she should have to go through all the pain and torment that she does, why can't I protect her, shield her, hold her. Why? If it wasn't the damn CIA and their fuc*ing protocol, it was SD-6 and how they would have killed both of us, but now? Nothing. Nothing except psycho Englishmen. Bastard. *Sigh*. When...when can we just be Sydney and Michael? Now. We can be together now. SD-6 will no longer be a reality once we get back to L.A. Sark was just looking after his own interests in taking Sydney, he had no interest in the intel. S***. I've got to tell Sydney - well, I've got to see what she remembers and what she thinks she knows. God my baby...'  
  
Vaughn was pacing the hallway outside Sydney's door. Suddenly, he wiped the tears from his face and opened the door to Sydney's room. She looked over at him slowly and saw the worry that was worn onto his face. Her face instantly fell from happiness at the sight of him to one of intense worry and pain.  
  
"Michael...Michael what's wrong? Are you ok? Am I ok? Why am I hurting all over? Michael?" Sydney's voice was cracking as she began to cry.  
  
'God, I show up and I make her cry. I can't even comfort her properly.'  
  
"Sydney," Michael soothed as he strode over to her bed. "Sydney, I.don't know how to begin."  
  
'Oh, that's good. Geez, I can't exactly start off by telling her what he did to her. OK, just begin somewhere Mike..'  
  
Michael pulled up a chair and took Sydney's hand. He kissed her hand lightly and cupped his cheek with it. He kissed her palm and grasped her hand with both of his as he began.  
  
"I think that Sark told you some very wrong information about.well...everything probably. I just want you to know the truth - it's what you deserve."  
  
Michael then proceeded to tell Sydney about her life. Her job - real and fake. Her family. Her friends. Her Michael. Sydney and Michael both wept nearly the entire time, and even harder when Michael told Sydney that SD-6 would no longer be there once they got back to L.A.  
  
"So, we can be together, there's nothing else, right?" Sydney asked cautiously.  
  
"No, there's nothing else standing between us," Vaughn replied, kissing her hand again. "But, there is something that I need to tell you."  
  
Vaughn took in a ragged breath and willed himself to continue. He still had to tell her what Sark did to her.  
  
"Sydney, do you remember anything about, um, what happened before I got to Sark's house?"  
  
Sydney's face fell as she silently shook her head. She knew whatever he was going to say was in no way good news.  
  
"Look, I guess I should just tell you. But first I want you to know that I am NOT mad at you. I don't even want you to think that. I only want to support and love you, ok?"  
  
Sydney nodded silently, a new wave of tears surfacing in her brown eyes.  
  
"Sark..Sark .. he.."  
  
'Just fuc*ing say it!'  
  
"Syd, Sark raped you while you were unconscious. The doctor says he is running every test he can think of on you to make sure you're ok, but he doesn't." Vaughn's words were slurred and running together.  
  
"Am I pregnant?" Sydney asked as the tears began to fall anew.  
  
"He doesn't know yet. That's one of the tests. Sydney - are you ok?"  
  
"Could you just hold me Michael, please?" Sydney began to sob uncontrollably as Michael carefully lay down on the bed and took Sydney into his arms.  
  
"I will always hold you Sydney. I am never going to let you go - never."  
  
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	21. Chapter 21

OK, this one is going to be slightly different...I'm still doing Syd's pov, but it picks up with where Vaughn's pov left off. Make sense? Oh, and I'm not sure if this is how I'm going to do it from now on, right now, I'm just trying something new!  
  
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'I just want to let Michael hold me forever. I can't deal with this right now. I can't deal with this EVER. How could one human being possibly be so..so..evil? That's the only word I can use to describe that...that demon.'  
  
"Michael," Sydney said in a low whisper.  
  
"Hmm?" Michael replied, still holding Sydney tightly.  
  
"Did the doctors say anything about me getting my memories back?"  
  
"Well, they said there are no way for them to know if you would. But I think that if we - "  
  
Vaughn was interrupted by the vibrating of his cell phone in his breast pocket. Sydney released her grip from him.  
  
"You should see who it is," Sydney said quietly, not looking Michael in the face.  
  
"OK," Michael replied as he raised Sydney's face to his for a quick kiss.  
  
'His lips are soft and God he tastes good. God, have we ever even kissed? I don't remember any kissing...of course I don't. *Sigh*.'  
  
Michael slowly released Sydney from the kiss and got up off the bed to take the call.  
  
"Vaughn."  
  
'Well at least he answers the phone with his name.'  
  
"No, um, look, I don't think that would be the best idea right now. No, she's not ok, Sark - " Vaughn stopped in mid-sentence and looked over at Sydney. He motioned to her that he was going to go outside to take the call.  
  
Through the door, Sydney was only able to hear bits and pieces of his conversation.  
  
"No...need...you're....CIA or....WHAT?! How is that....OK, OK....yeah, I'll.."  
  
Vaughn came back into the room with a look of disbelief and weariness on his face.  
  
"What's wrong? Who was that?" Sydney asked, getting worried.  
  
"Huh? Oh, don't worry about it Syd. Just get some rest and heal. I'll tell you all about it later.." Vaughn's voice trailed off as he approached Sydney's bed.  
  
'I am really glad that he's here with me. I'm going to like being with him.'  
  
Sydney grabbed his hand as he sat down next to her bed and slowly dozed off to sleep.  
  
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That's it. For now. In a week, when I get back from the lovely Seattle - I'll finish this! For now, I have some suggestions to keep you all busy. Our newest writer here - Roxanne Wright - has two fics that I think are totally awesome! So, please go 


	22. Chapter 22

Ok, this slightly overlaps the last chapter, but again, I'm going to go a bit further than the last one...  
  
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Vaughn was interrupted by the vibrating of his cell phone in his breast pocket. Sydney released her grip from him.  
  
"You should see who it is," Sydney said quietly, not looking Vaughn in the face.  
  
"OK," Vaughn replied as he raised Sydney's face to his for a quick kiss.  
  
'We've never even kissed. God, I picked an odd time to..'  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by his lips brushing across hers.  
  
'She is so soft and delicate. God, I just want to..ok, not now Michael..'  
  
Michael slowly released Sydney from the kiss and got up off the bed to take the call.  
  
"Vaughn."  
  
"Mr., Vaughn, I received information that you have located Sydney. You are bringing her back as soon as possible, aren't you? " It was Jack.  
  
"No, um, look, I don't think that would be the best idea right now," Vaughn replied, slightly annoyed.  
  
"Why not? Isn't she alright? My informant didn't mention any serious inju -"  
  
"No, she's not ok, Sark - " Vaughn stopped in mid-sentence and looked over at Sydney. He motioned to her that he was going to go outside to take the call.  
  
'She really doesn't need to hear this right now.'  
  
"Jack," Vaughn began. "There is no way I can bring Sydney back right now. The doctor said that if she flies right now, her concussion could create a blood clot in her brain and.well, she just needs to rest here for now. Besides that, Sark.um, Sark raped her while she was unconscious. Also, she currently has amnesia. She only remembers limited things, one of them being me."  
  
Jack sighed on the other end of the phone. Vaughn could hear the raggedness in his voice as he began to speak again.  
  
"I should have been able to protect her," Jack mumbled. "Look Jack, you're not responsible for what happened to Sydney; if anyone is, I am. But I don't think the CIA or SD-6 could have guessed Sark was coming to get just Sydney."  
  
Vaughn could hear Jack mumbled something else and suddenly he was all business again.  
  
"I called to tell you that the takedown of SD-6 is being postponed for the time being. They wanted Sydney to participate, but now we'll have to formulate a new plan.  
  
Vaughn was stunned.  
  
"WHAT?! How is that possible? Can't they do anything without her?! Jesus! She is not their only agent, and now she can't even remember."  
  
"Calm down Mr. Vaughn. We will work around this. As for you two, just stay in your current location and do not contact anyone. I will contact you later with more updates."  
  
Vaughn was beginning to simmer down.  
  
"OK, OK, I'm sorry for that I just."  
  
"I understand Mr. Vaughn. Just take care of Sydney for now, she needs you."  
  
Vaughn was touched. Jack was acknowledging that Sydney needed him.  
  
'Jack still respects me.'  
  
"Yeah, I'll be here with her. Of course I will."  
  
Jack then hung up the phone, and Vaughn could have sworn her heard Jack stifle a whimper before he hung up.  
  
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Vaughn though of what their next move would be as he held a sleeping Sydney in his arms.  
  
'After she gets released, even if SD-6 is no longer operating, L.A. will probably be a bad idea for a while..maybe we could go to Italy, finally eat in Trattoria de Nardi, maybe we could fly to Canada, catch a hockey game up there, maybe we could go off to a remote island and rent a small two room cabin by the ocean...shi*. She still needs her memories. No matter how bad and hurtful, she isn't the same without her memories. She wants them back; I can see the emptiness in her eyes with out them. She deserves to have a normal life after SD-6 is gone, hell, she has always deserved one.'  
  
Sydney stirred in his arms, snuggling closer to him.  
  
'Maybe she'll remember, maybe she can be whole again.'  
  
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Vaughn stayed with her continuously for the next few days. Vaughn told her jokes, and funny stories from the past. She laughed wholeheartedly, but he could tell she wanted to remember them on her own. Then, exactly one week after she was admitted to the hospital, she awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and sat up with a gasp.  
  
Vaughn was immediately off his cot and by her side.  
  
"What is it? Did you have a nightmare?" Vaughn cooed, stroking her hair tenderly.  
  
"Danny." Sydney muttered quietly. "Danny."  
  
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	23. Chapter 23

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"What is it? Did you have a nightmare?" Vaughn cooed, stroking her hair tenderly.  
  
"Danny." Sydney muttered quietly. "Danny."  
  
'I was supposed to marry this man, this man that I can see lying in a bathtub with blood all on the ....oh God....'  
  
"Sydney. Sydney, what do you remember?"  
  
"I got him killed! I told him something that he wasn't supposed to know! I'm the reason he ended up in the bathtub dead! I...I...." Sydney was shrieking as she trailed off and began to convulse in Vaughn's arms from her heavy crying.  
  
"Syd, it wasn't your fault. You were not at fault - you just wanted to tell your fiance the truth. Unfortunately, you didn't know what would happen when you did." Vaughn was trying despreately to comfort Sydney, but she continued to cry and moan until she was nearly asleep.  
  
"Michael," Sydney whispered into his shoulder as she was about to fall into a deep sleep.  
  
"Yea hun?" Vaughn replied softly into Sydney's hair.  
  
"Please don't let me hurt you..."  
  
And she was asleep.  
  
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	24. Chapter 24

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'God, what am I doing? I have no right to keep this from her. But she is already going through so much torture, not remembering anything, then the first thing she remembers is Danny of all things. God, if I could keep her safe, protect her, but she isn't the same person without her memories. She is such an amazing person, even with everything bad that has happened to her. She deserves to know so she can deal with it. When she wakes up I'll -- '  
  
"Michael?" Sydney called as she opened her eyes half way. She had been sleeping less since the concussion was finally healing, but she still spent at least 12 hours a day sleeping.  
  
"Syd......hey. You gonna wake up for a while now?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm tired of sleeping," she replied groggily as she began to sit up in the bed.  
  
Vaughn quickly reached out to help her the rest of the way up.  
  
"Syd, there's something I need to....., something that you should know."  
  
'Suck it up Mike. Suck it up and tell her.'  
  
"What is it? What? My concussion's not healing right? Something else is..."  
  
"No," Michael sighed. "No, there's nothing like that wrong with you. Look, I don't know how to tell you this, but Syd, yesterday the doctor came in with your pregnancy test results while you were sleeping. Look, I want you to know that I'm going to be here for you no matter what you decide to do ok? I want you to und---"  
  
"I'm pregnant aren't I?" Sydney asked bluntly.  
  
Vaughn looked up at her with a crinkled forehead.  
  
"Yeah, Syd, yeah, you are."  
  
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	25. Chapter 25

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'It's almost as if I am completely numb. I heard Michael confirm my worst suspicions, and I want to scream and cry and wail. But I'm not - I can't. It's like all my feelings have left my body. I feel hollow, like I will never be whole again. Like those memories that I don't have any longer are never going to come, I will never remember them again. And I'm helpless to do anything about it. I can't make myself remember, I can't make what Sark did to me go away, I can't make this baby go away.well.I could.but God, no, I couldn't - I can't.  
  
And Michael wants to help me. He wants to support me, this child that isn't even his. I can't even remember most of the things that he did for me in the time we knew each other - but he can. I can't remember what he looked like when I first laid eyes on him - but he can. He knows all of these things that I don't think I'll ever remember. Ever. He's holding me right now. Telling me everything's going to be all right - that he'll be here for me. Always. Forever. I believe him. I know he'd never lie to me. He loves me. He always has. God, what did I do to deserve him? '  
  
"Michael?" Sydney whispered softly.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Can you get me something to eat? I mean, I'm starving. Could you get me - "  
  
"Sure. What would you like?" Michael replied as he pulled away from their embrace.  
  
"Whatever. Just something. I'm getting hunger pains."  
  
"No problem. Be back in a 'sec."  
  
'Great. Now if I can just get to the bathroom and get back before he gets back, I'll be doing good.'  
  
Sydney carefully got to the edge of her hospital bed and slowly stood up. She slowly shuffled over towards the bathroom.  
  
Suddenly a sharp pain ripped through her body and she collapsed into a heap on the hard cold tile.  
  
A pool of blood soon surrounded her hips and thighs.  
  
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	26. Chapter 26

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'Five minutes - tops. I was only gone for about five minutes. Shi* - how could this have happened? I thought she was getting better, I thought I was about to get her away from this cold hospital, to a place with me where we could be comfortable. Be together alone for her recovery. I know the memories will come - I know they will - with time. She just needs time.I..I..why? Why does this shi* always happen to her? She deserves the best and I can never give it to her. I can't even keep her safe in a hospital. God help her.'  
  
Vaughn sat against the wall outside the surgery room doors, his legs crossed and his head in his hands. His hands subconsciously ran through his hair over and over, pulling and tugging on it with shaking hands. His whole body was slumped against the wall in exhaustion and worry.  
  
"Mr. Vaughn?" Sydney's doctor called as he exited the surgery room doors.  
  
Vaughn was immediately on his feet, his fatigue materializing in the red circles under his eyes.  
  
"Sydney is going to be fine. But she is going to need more recovery time now; about a week. Sh-"  
  
"What happened to her? Why di-"  
  
"You don't know? I thought the nurse told you." the doctor asked. "Mr. Vaughn, Sydney had a miscarriage. We had to take her into surgery and put her under to perform a DNC, but she's going to be fine. She didn't loose that much blood since you came in on her."  
  
The doctor continued to explain the possible reasons for why she had lost the baby, but Vaughn was only halfway listening.  
  
"Does she know? Did anyone - " Vaughn's voice was shaky again.  
  
"We thought she would take it best coming from you. So, no, she doesn't - "  
  
"Thanks, thanks." Vaughn trailed off as he turned and walked down the hall, rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
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	27. Chapter 27

OK, after this one, there's only two more chapters. I'm wrapping this up - and please don't kill me until after you've read the ending. Oh, did I mention that they are already written and I will post faster with - yes, you guessed it - feedback! ;) This one's kinda slow, so I'm posting 27 & 28 together - but if you want the ending - tell me what you think! ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
'They haven't told me yet, but I know. I know what happened. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that I lost that baby. They won't even tell me if I'm going to be okay. No one has been into see me - not even Michael - since I woke up. Except that nurse who looks like she hasn't slept in about a year. And I can only see her when I occasionally wake up. I don't want to go back to sleep - but I think it's the anesthetic wearing off. Either that or I'm dying. Wouldn't that be about right. To die, right now. Humph.  
  
Now I hear that nurse saying something about low blood pressure and some other medical jargon that I just don't understand. I feel like I'm getting better - but what do I know? I can't even remember most of my life. It's coming to me slowly, names like Francie, Will, but I have no clue who they are. I think it will come soon and I want to tell Michael that I can remember more and more, but he's not here.'  
  
"Mi---" Sydney's weak attempt to speak comes out as an almost silent, jumbled whisper as she slips back into unconsciousness.  
  
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	28. Chapter 28

OK - one more after this - and a special thanks to Hales for the word choice help! ;) Oh, and Hales - NO SPOILING!! ;)  
  
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'I'm standing here, looking as this casket, hell, I could reach out and touch it, but it still doesn't seem real. One minute we're hiding out in Hong Kong, the next, we're catching a flight back to the States. Screw letting Sydney get better before the flight - but I guess that's a mute point now.  
  
I never thought this day would come. I mean, that was stupid and naïve of me, but hey, what's new? I mean, everyone dies. Everyone. Even the woman who gave you everything that she possibly could. Even her.  
  
I wasn't even with her. I should have been with her when - well, they said she just never woke up. Like she was just sleeping. That's probably what she was thinking when she closed her eyes - that she was just going to sleep for a little while.  
  
I'm just glad that she went first. I can deal with this. At least I hope I can. If I had gone before her, I don't think she could have taken it. I mean she already lost someone.'  
  
Michael Vaughn began to cry softly as a light rain began to fall. He stared at the flower-covered casket as if he was in a daze.  
  
Suddenly, a hand touched him on the shoulder.  
  
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	29. Chapter 29

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"Michael? C'mon, it's starting to rain." Sydney said quietly as she placed her hand of his shoulder.  
  
"I.I just always thought that I would be with her when she went. I don't know why, I have always just thought that ever since my dad died. She took it so hard, and she tried to be strong for me at the same time. She was."  
  
"Everything a mother should be." Sydney finished for him as she led him out of the cemetery.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, she was." Michael replied as he put his arm around Sydney's waist.  
  
"C'mon, there's a lot of people waiting for us back at your mom's house - and from what I've heard, I hope you're hungry," Sydney said with a smile.  
  
"Starving," Michael replied as he got into Sydney's Landrover. As Sydney started the vehicle and let it warm up, Michael reached over to her and took her hand in his.  
  
"Thanks for being here with me. I mean, you really don't know how much you mean to me. I want you to know that I love you. I want to tell you before I can't. I don't ever want to take a moment that we have together for granted again. I had to wait for so - "  
  
Sydney cut him short with a sound kiss to his lips.  
  
"I love you too Michael. I'm glad I could be here with you. And you're not getting rid of me for a long time buster," Sydney said as a big grin appeared on her face.  
  
"Yeah," Michael replied with a smile. "It's finally over. I can hardly believe that I don't have to be your handler anymore."  
  
"Well, I don't think that you have to stop doing that." Sydney replied coyly as she reached to put the vehicle in gear.  
  
"I can handle you very well Agent Bristow," Michael replied as he reached over and took her face in his hands and kissed her passionately.  
  
Michael released her from the kiss and gazed into her eyes.  
  
"My mother would have loved you," he said quietly.  
  
"Good," Sydney replied as she put her car into gear and drove out of the cemetery holding hands with Michael.  
  
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